Words@Forgetmagazie.com
has been an active mail link on the
internet for more than 20 years.
Subsequently, it gets an enormous (the
technical term is a 'fuck-load') and
disproportionately strange type of
email on a nearly constant (like
second by second, not day by a day, or
some weak bullshit) basis. Opening the
inbox is looking in awe, wonder and
occasional horror at what a consistent
presence of 20 years in the twisted
teeth of the Internet machine
waste-land looks like. T. S. Eliot
never wrote no emails, remember that.
Here are the last three emails that
arrived while I wrote this, and our
responses. By the way Forget
is now accepting (and you
know, uh, reading) unsolicited
submissions again. Send
them here.
Make them good.- Ed.
* * *
Dear Customer,
Hope this email finds you
well.
We are emailing you today to
let you know that we have got a
window cleaning robot in our stock,
ready to for shipping.Wait 20 seconds after
starting up until the blue light
flashing is off，Then it starts for
working. Binding the
safety rope when using, just
prevent falling from high
altitude. Please spray
some water on the edge of the
mop
Packing
list
1
rebot1
power cord + adapte1
remote control1
battery pair2
pairs of cleaning rings (4)1
extension of 4 meters1
safety rope10
cleaning cloths1
manual (or English manual
We
are incredibly interested! 'Bout time we had
some robots round here!
Tell us this: are
the robots sentient, literate and
sober (ish)? Because we are looking
for interns - Ed.
Dear Friend ,
Forget boring paints and outdated
wallpapers, this decorative soft leather
wall paneling/wall cladding by TANGRAM
is a new unique way to bring some
exciting decorative patterns to your
project .
Welcome to reply back for free sample
and product E-catalog .
Sincerely yours
Angela
Had
us at Forget, nice
start. Please send us
both the free sample and product
E-catalog.- Ed.
Hello words@forgetmagazine.com
We
have inquiry about your product, could
you send your latest catalogue along
with a price list.
Please
note our payment term is 20% advance
payment and 80% against B/L copy.
Waiting
for your timely reply
We
are absolutely gonna knock out
that catalogue (wait 'til
you see the prices!)
my brother or sister; and we
like the sounds of that payment
plan! We will be in touch very,
very soon! We have big,
big plans!- Ed.
