FACT: Melissa Silverman, daughter of NBC television executive Fred Silverman, loved the Smurfs so much she inspired her father to create the Smurfs animated series which ran for almost a decade.
OPINION: I love fruit salad, why has nobody made an animated series out of that?

FACT: Smurf figurines stamped with a special "M" stick-figure on the bottom are produced by a company called "Schleich". Schleich stopped marking their figurines with the special "M" around 1972.
OPINION: "M" stands for "Motherfuck! These things scream when you burn the letter 'M' into their feet!"

FACT: The word "Smurf" is used extensively by the Smurfs, as a noun, verb, and everything in-between.
OPINION: Using the word "Smurf" in different contexts can lead to confusion. For example, saying "Smurf my ass" will either get you arrested, or a discount on a lawnchair at Zellers.

FACT: Smurf figurines debuted in 1965, although they were not available in North America until 1980.
OPINION: North American imigration policies prevented the arrival of millions of little blue people and Smurfs too. Stop racism.

FACT: Smurf figurines are made of PVC, stand 2" tall, and have eight fingers and eight toes.
OPINION: These figurines are obviously anatomically incorrect. Smurfs are three apples tall, not 2". And, unlike the figurines, they do have cocks.

FACT: There are six Easter Smurf figurines.
OPINION: My favorite is Jesus Smurf with his mushroom crucifix.

FACT: In Chinese, "Smurf" translates to "Lan Jing Ling". OPINION: Try ordering that in a Chinese food restaurant. They taste squishy.

FACT: The Smurfs were created in in Brussels, Belgium by Pierrot Culliford (Peyo) in 1958.
OPINION: He was under the heavy influence of drugs and leprachaun magic.

FACT: The Smurfs debuted in newspaper comic entitled "Johan et Pirouit".
OPINION: "Johan et Pirouit" was the first comic to feature little blue creatures, and full frontal nudity.

FACT: Each Smurf Christmas tree ornament figurine comes with a fine gold cord.

Strangle your little Christian Smurfs with this gold cord in order to sacrifice them to our Lord and Saviour, Gargamel.

Stephan MacLeod never fell in love at no stinking rock show..