FACT: People infected with HIV cannot pass the virus to others through ordinary activities of young people in school.
OPINION: So don't try using the old 'I've got AIDS' excuse when handing your homework in late for class. Your professors have probably heard that one a million times.

FACT: You will not become infected with HIV just by attending school with someone who is infected or who has AIDS.
OPINION: There are better reasons for not attending school. School takes precious time away from my eating and sleeping.

FACT: There has never been a single case documented in which HIV was transmitted by kissing.
OPINION: What you call kissing, I call 'inflating my blow up doll.'

FACT: Oral sex often involves semen, vaginal secretions, or blood-fluids that contain HIV.
OPINION: If people were smarter, their fluids would contain vitamins and not HIV.

FACT: The only sure way to avoid infection through sex is to abstain from sexual intercourse, or engage in sexual intercourse only with someone who is not infected.
OPINION: Like me (wink wink).

FACT: There is absolutely no risk of HIV infection from donating blood.
OPINION: By donating blood, they mean going to an established organization like the Red Cross. They do not mean spraying your blood on diner guests.

FACT: Donors are asked if they have practiced behaviors that place them at increased risk for HIV. If they have, they are not allowed to donate blood.
OPINION: It is also frowned upon when blood donors have mullets. Doctors don't want none of that 'hockey blood.'

FACT: Today the American blood supply is extremely safe.
OPINION: If you're heavily armed, you can damn well be sure your blood supply is safe. Unless of course, the US is invaded by vampires.

FACT: Birth control pills do not protect against HIV.
OPINION: But if you're a guy, they can do wonders for your man tits.

FACT: If you are still concerned about the remote possibility of HIV infection from a transfusion, you should see your doctor or seek counseling about getting an HIV antibody test. Call the CDC National AIDS Hotline (1-800-342-AIDS) or your local health department to find out about counseling and testing facilities in your area.
OPINION: They should make ads for the AIDS hotline like those late night infomercials for 1-900 numbers with hot chicks in bathing suits getting all wet while moaning, 'Pick up the phone.' Or it would be even better, if they got George Foreman and his AIDS Grill.